By Sarah Rivera Rios
At Bluffton University, it’s all about relationships; Holly and Dan Metzger are a notable example of how this small belief was the beginning of their happily ever after.
Holly, who is director of student engagement at the university, and Dan, who is a local pastor and adjunct instructor for Introduction to Biblical Worldview this semester, met in August of 2000 when their paths crossed in the university’s Freshman Olympics, which they attended as part of the Residence Life staff.
“It was a whole weekend of activities,” said Holly. “We became so close that our floors started a Bible study together even though we were in different buildings.”
According to The Science of Happily Ever After, out of all the people who get married, only three in 10 marriages remain healthy and happy.
“I don’t remember who gave me this piece of advice,” said Holly. “But I really value it and it is: to never stop dating.”
As Holly and Dan get older, their kid’s social lives tend to take over theirs.
“You need to make time for each other, and it’s not something that will come to you, you have to work for it,” added Holly.
Dan and Holly on their first date, Bluffton College formal in 2002. Photo provided by Holly Metzger.
Kindness doesn’t mean that they don’t express anger, but the kindness informs how they choose to express the anger, Dan said.
We do well with talking things out and giving each other space when we need it,” added Dan. “She usually tells me to go and do something else for a little while and cool down.”
Love can be like a rollercoaster, where there are ups and downs, bends and twists, and fast and slow times. However, as long as these two are together, they will always find their balance.
“I think the hardest life lesson I learned was that sometimes my idea of what should happen is not always God’s idea,” said Holly.
When Holly married Dan, she knew that the church was going to move them somewhere.
“I just prayed and said ‘Lord, I will go anywhere, except Cincinnati.’ And guess what! We got a call we were moving to Cincinnati. At this point I was going to be the farthest I’ve been from home, and I just have had my first daughter,” added Holly.
Holly and Dan approached different methods in order to cope with being away from home. They started making new friends, going out to places in order to get to know the city better. But their number one approach was obedience.
Marriage marks a new chapter in a person’s life. The Metzgers are a great example of while some of these changes are minor, others have a bigger effect on your personality, physically and mentally.
“When I met her, I was still pretty carefree and did what I wanted,” said Dan. “But after marrying her, it was no longer me, it’s now us.
The Metzgers got engaged in their sophomore year of college and got married by their senior year.
“The decisions I made, the things that I wanted to do, everything changed. To be her husband is the most exciting thing,” said Dan.
Kindness, along with emotional stability, is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in Holly and Dan’s marriage.
“Holly has so many good qualities, and that’s why I’m married to her,” said Dan. “But she has such an amazing heart for people. She is the most giving and caring person that I know. She gives a voice to people who don’t have them, and that’s one of my favorite things about her.”
